All he ever wanted
by garciprent
Summary: Aaron Hotchner longs for Emily Prentiss, but has he missed his chance? Will he get her in the end?


All he ever wanted

**Author's note: Again, I don't own Criminal Minds :(**

Aaron Hotchner was a confident man. Men as confident as this didn't often have regrets...but he did. A regret that plagued him deeply! He'd often pondered what reaction he would get if he told Emily Prentiss just how deeply he felt for her. He would soon snap himself out of it by reminding himself that he was her superior & the whole dating a co-worker would be against the rules. Oh how he'd wished he wasn't such a stickler for the rules!

When she had gone missing that day, to sneak away to hunt for Doyle, the dread he'd felt ate him up. If anything had happened to her, what would he do? The only other time he'd felt such dread was when he realised Foyet had his son & ex-wife. This time was different, this time he couldn't let on to his colleagues just how scared he was. They were in the same boat, losing Prentiss would be losing one of their own. But for him she was so much more! And he couldn't let them know that.

So when she was found on the floor of the warehouse, impaled & fading quickly, it was everything he had not to rush over & hold her closely, reassuring her that he would never let her go. He would never get that chance.

The sinking feeling he'd felt at the hospital when he had to play along that she was dead could not be compared to anything he had ever felt. The thought that she was alive but not accessible was almost too much to bear. He might never get the chance to see her again!

Only JJ knew the truth about her whereabouts, and he couldn't share with her how much he was hurting. He had to suffer in silence, all the while aware that she was out there somewhere. He would lie awake for hours wondering where she was. Was she alone? Was she lonely? Or worse, was she happily wrapped up in someone else's arms forgetting about him completely? Not that she'd ever thought about him in that way, he didn't think. Oh how he'd hoped she had!

Then one rainy Autumn evening, he received news that Doyle had been killed. Hope blossomed in his heart & he'd never imagined being so happy at the news of someone's death. He was straight on the phone with JJ, the only other one who would understand just what this meant...Emily was free to come home.

Then terror struck him, a list of 'What ifs' running through his head. What if she preferred it where she was & who she was with? What if she didn't want to see them again? What if she blamed them for not noticing what she was going through before she disappeared? The thought crossed his mind that, even though Doyle was now dead, he still may never see her again.

These worries were completely unfounded! She had been eager to return home & to her team. When her plane landed in D.C, JJ had picked her up from the airport. It was an emotional reunion! Emily had been away for almost 3 years. Hotch had resisted turning up at the airport...barely! He'd felt it would be too obvious & forward if he were to turn up straight away. He couldn't resist for long though, & the next morning he'd turned up at JJ's house, where Emily was staying, and politely & professionally welcomed her back.

The transition back to the team was awkward at first. There were mixed feelings, obvious joy over her being alive & well, but frustration over being lied to & why she felt she had to hide things from them. Trust was eventually built up again after she assured them that she'd done it for their own protection. After being made to promise she would not suffer on her own again, she was readily accepted into her previous role.

After a few weeks (& many conversations with himself), Hotch decided to tell her how he felt. He knew he risked rejection & heartache. He knew he would put himself in a dangerous position at work if she'd said 'No' & reported him to Strauss. An even more dangerous position if she'd said 'Yes' which would mean breaking the rules. 'But', he thought to himself, 'Fraternisation rules be damned! I lost her once, I won't risk that again because someone tells me I can't have her!' So he took the plunge!

And now, as he gazed fondly at his wife of just 2 weeks, he knew all the risks had been worth it! For sure it was a bumpy ride at first, many shouting matches between himself, Dave & Strauss. Of course Dave was on Hotch's side, and the team were thrilled at the thought of Hotch & Emily being a couple. They'd dated for about 8 months before he'd proposed. They both knew they were meant to be together & neither of them were shy to admit it.

Having just returned from their 2 week honeymoon, Hotch stood quietly in the doorway to his son's room as he watched Emily say goodnight to Jack. Jack adored his new stepmother, & Hotch couldn't wish for anything more. The two most important people in his life loved each other immensely!

"You try & get some sleep Sweetie." she whispered fondly as she kissed Jack's forehead. But the little boy wasn't content with sleep just yet, as he reached his arms up around her neck & pulled her into as tight a hug as he could give. "I love you Emmy!" he said enthusiastically. "I love you too Buddy!" she replied as she returned the hug. She spotted Hotch in the doorway gave him a loving smile as she got up from her spot on Jack's bed.

As she passed Hotch in the doorway she kissed him tenderly on the cheek, "Your turn Daddy." Hotch made his way over to Jack, who held his arms out for a hug. Hotch gratefully accepted the hug & ruffled his son's hair as he said "I love you Buddy." Jack's grin came into view as he pulled away from the hug, "I love you too Daddy!"

The big brown eyes looked up questioningly at Hotch, "Daddy, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Buddy, what is it?" The little boy looked over at the door to make sure Emily had gone & then whispered "Do you think Emmy would be ok if I call her mommy?" This took Hotch by surprise, in a good way! He knew they'd been through a lot of change over the years & sometimes he wondered if Jack was fully ok with things. This question filled Hotch with joy, it was a sure sign that his little boy was happy with the recent changes in their lives. Hotch kept his tone equally as quiet as Jack's "You know what Jack, I think she'd love it!"

"Ok!" the little boy said with a beaming smile, "Night Daddy."

"Night Buddy."

Hotch made his way into the main bedroom to find his wife already snuggled up in bed but still awake. He couldn't help the goofy smile over what Jack had just asked him. It didn't go unnoticed by Emily. "What are you smirking at?" she laughed. Hotch looked her in the eyes & said softly "I'll let Jack tell you in the morning."

**Author's note: Sorry for the soppy ending, couldn't resist!**


End file.
